So I was having dinner with my old friend Christina when suddenly we started talking about dead people.
Christina: When I had to go to a wake, I couldn’t see the body. I was too freaked out.
Me: While I was at my Grandpa’s wake I touched his forehead.
Christina: Oh gross! Why did you do that?
Me: Touching a dead person is like touching a dolphin. You will probably do it once in your lifetime and people will always ask you to describe what it felt like. And honestly, soul-less bodies feel like frozen Thanksgiving turkeys. I imagine zombies feel like this. Does that mean the living feel like cooked turkeys? No wonder zombies want to eat us.
Christina: Yep, I’m not surprised that is floating around in your head.